Let’s start now.

It’s hard to believe that we’re already in April, over a quarter through 2023. 106 days since the start of the year. 257 days until the end of the year – if my and Google’s math is correct.

If you’re like me, you probably have had some goals outlined at the start of the new year. There is something about the new-ness of the new year that prompts people to start new things, grow, begin afresh.

But it’s no surprise that by the time April comes around, the progress towards some of those goals have become inconsistent or quite frankly, non-existent. Today I woke up just before 9 am, the day before – just before 8am, and the day before that – about 7am. My goal was to wake up between 5-6am. I know that I’m more productive when I wake up earlier which leads to feeling better all around. But sometimes knowing that something is beneficial to you isn’t enough to help with motivation. The culprit: I find myself justifying certain choices (scrolling through Poshmark or Instagram at 11PM because I worked during the day) or falling into habit established by the sleeping patterns of the weeks before.

I can choose to work on this, but sometimes, I just don’t feel like it. I like sleep. Snooze that alarm for another 10 mins (5 times).

Maybe tomorrow…maybe.

At the time I was outlining the points for this blog early one morning, I kept thinking, “I’m forgetting something.” In the midst of outlining, by some odd, surely coincidental reason, I reached for my phone and ended up on Instagram – my right index finger just scrolling though the pages of pictures. All the while, feeling like, “I’m forgetting something…I just don’t know what.” I went on YouTube for a bit, answered some work emails, did more scrolling until I realized, “Oh, I was supposed to read the Bible!”

One thing I’m happy about is that I’ve been trying to read the Bible the first thing in the morning, since the beginning of the year (and I emphasize the word “try” because it can sometime vary). But that day, I woke up a bit later than I wanted and so went straight to doing some work. I told myself I’d read the Bible right after I finish these tasks.

My work really only took about 30 minutes to complete but I ended up reading the Bible almost 2 hours later.

The tendency to put things to the side, to another time, is something that I’m working on in a lot of areas in my life. That thought of, “Oh, I can get back to it later…” almost seems so natural and habitual sometimes. I reflected on why I think I (or maybe we, if you’re similar) do this:

One possibility may be that we assume we’ll have the time later but do not adequately and intentionally make the time. Time management is so important, especially for people who are busy. Something that I reflected on with my husband is that time is a resource. Many people may think that money or skills are our greatest resources. They are important for sure. But it sometimes isn’t as apparent that the time we have can be utilized or misused. If we don’t decide to best utilize our time, tasks and things may slip our minds or get overshadowed by everything else in our lives.

In addition, maybe some of these tasks are not, for lack of a better word, fun. Maybe they are just down right boring or hard or tedious. Then comes the question of, “Then why are we doing it?” Sometimes “boring” tasks are of necessity. They can be tasks for a job, homework for school, even that dreaded pile of laundry. In this case, the next step might be creating a step by step plan to tackle those tasks in order to accomplish them – perhaps preferably as quick as possible. Our ability to accomplish these tasks may also require a bit of reframing or perspective changing. Asking yourself questions like, “Can I get anything out of this?” “How can this help me?” Most likely asking yourself, “Can I get anything out of this?” when staring at that mound of clothes in the hamper may lead you to respond, “Well, at least I’ll have more space in this corner.” And if all this planning, reframing, perspective changing fails to help, one thing that most people can agree on is that pushing things aside, to the last minute, or suppressing hardly helps. I personally never enjoy when multiple tasks start to pile, making it even more challenging and overwhelming to face.

Another may be that we’re not prioritizing what is actually important and necessary for us to grow in this season in life. Again, maybe busyness gets in the way of this but if we’re honest with ourselves, our society tends to divide our focus towards passive or even, mindless (as opposed to mindful) things. By us not prioritizing what is important, I also wonder how other areas of our life might be affected. For a general example, if I don’t prioritize healthy eating, this will not only affect me physically but will also subsequently alter my mood, emotions – which affects relationships, productivity, you name it.

Our comfort level may also play a factor to why we push things to another point in time. Any change from the norm may be uncomfortable. It’s understandable why people would want to stay within the comfortable or familiar. Starting something new – a habit, job, project – is taking you out of your comfort zone.

The last reason I reflected on is fear. Fear that you will fail, that you aren’t equipped or qualified to make that next step, that other people will judge your words and actions. Fear is crippling and for myself, it often came in the form of how I thought I would be perceived by others.

I’ve struggled with comparison for a very long time – still working through it actually. Starting a blog was something I’ve wanted to do since my early twenties. I would read what other bloggers had posted and become very inspired, and thought maybe I had a story to tell too. But then came the thoughts: “Maybe once I get a bit older”, “Maybe when I get more established”, or “When I get married” – “…then, I can make a blog and perhaps others may be interested to read it.”

Then again, once I started to really think about creating a blog now at 31 years old, similar thoughts would come to mind. These thoughts would say, “I should’ve started when I was younger”, “You’re too old to start a blog”, “What are people going to think of what you write?” Just reflecting on that now, the rationality behind these thoughts seem ridiculous. But the moment you hear thoughts like this and start to believe it, they begin to hold you back.

So where did this leave me? I could continue believing that those thoughts had merit and not act upon some of my lifelong goals. Or, I could push past the thoughts and just start it. After a pep talk I received from my husband, I did it.

Maybe no one is reading this blog post right now. Sure that’s not what I’d want, but at least I went for it. No doubt taking this step has benefited me in some way.

Here we are wishing for better life situations, circumstances, a different age – when the only time we can use is now, the present. Not when you’re 30 and not January 1^st of next year.

Of course, there are seasons in life and some decisions (such as buying a house, schooling, work, having kids, getting married) require thought, time, and discernment. But the things in life that we can control today – focusing on our health, being attentive, intentional, and purposeful in the people and things around us, starting new and healthy habits, working on your passions in life – that can happen now by making realistic, small changes daily. I love how Ruth Chou Simons, artist and author (definitely check her out on Instagram), hashtags some of her posts as #preachingtomyownheart. I write this now while in a state of encouragement (the excitement of writing my first blog post!) – but no doubt there will be that struggle against reverting back to old ways.

I’m reminded that consistency helps form new habits and truthfully, there will be slumps of time where these habits won’t come as naturally. But the opportunity to start, grow, and build again is always at hand.